Kevin is the founder of Kevin Gerdes Realty and is a gay man in LA paving his own path to parenting.

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It was one year ago that I made the decision to become a father. My journey started with foster care and since has shifted to IVF/Surrogacy, and that is what I want to share with everyone today.

In August of 2020, I started the long process of fostering to adopt a child. Eventually, I would care for two infants, which would overlap at one point in time. So here I was, this single man caring for two newborn babies by myself. Of course, many thought I was crazy, and sure, maybe I am a tad bit insane. But you know what, I did it, and I did it damn well!

As the second baby went back to his family, I was left with Baby S. I've shared a lot about Baby S on my YouTube channel as well as here] so I won't bother you with all of those details. However, I want to discuss why I stopped fostering and why I decided to go with IVF/Surrogacy to continue my journey to becoming a father.

If you have never raised a baby from newborn to 5-months and then, for whatever reason, lost that child, you will simply never understand the pain one feels. Although, I do trust that you may be able to empathize with me. That is what happened with Baby S. At almost 5-months old, I had to bring him to a new foster home to live with his half-brother. While this was the best thing for Baby S, it was one of the most challenging things I have ever had to do. I cried some of the heaviest tears I have ever cried as I handed him over to a woman I nor he had ever met. I then got in my car and drove home. That was last May. Today Baby S is almost 7-months old, and I have had zero contact with him. I have tried contacting his new foster home countless times, and each time my calls and messages go unanswered. I would be lying if I said I don't have moments where I am scrolling through my phone and feel deep sorrow as I pass endless photos of him. With all that said, it taught me a lot. I learn that I am not in control; there is something much more divine written for us all in this life.

As I took the next month to just be with no foster children and, honestly, travel the world, I knew inside that foster care was not the route I could take any longer. I learned that my pursuit of becoming a dad needed to shift. That is when my new partner, Alex, mentioned that I might want to try surrogacy. I will be honest, I was not interested in him suggesting this to me, as it had always been something I never thought I could do. But like I've said in the past, children change us, and Baby S changed me. He taught me - parenting him taught me that I can't control every aspect of life. I learned that sometimes I have to relinquish control and just trust!

And that is what I am doing.

I think the beaten down feeling I was experiencing from the foster-care system actually cracked me open to wondering, "Is there another way?" And so, I took my partner's advice and reached out to a surrogacy agency in Mexico. It was then that I saw that the process of IVF/Surrogacy was possible for me.

I believe that picking an international agency out of Mexico is partly due to the cost being much more obtainable at around $50k rather than the $100k - $200k it cost here in The United States. Additionally, I am finding that the distance just might be really healthy for me. I can be obsessive and controlling at times. The surrogate being in Mexico and me in California will help me to let go of trying to control a process that I believe only God has the power to control. I think going through foster care taught me this lesson of releasing control.

Currently am at a waiting place with everything. However, I have taken the semen analysis, and the results show that I am an excellent candidate for IVF. With this information, the agency is willing to move into the planning phase, which requires a large stage one payment. I have until Oct this year (so only a few months away) to make the initial payment of $17,300 and start the process before I have to do the semen analysis again. And to accomplish this, I am doing two things: working extremely hard to obtain more clients (I'm a Realtor), and two, I have started a GoFundME campaign.

If you have seen my Instagram, you'll see the fantastic homes I tour as I show them to clients. I have been letting everyone know that one way they can easily support me in my journey is to refer me to a client. It's a great way to help and not have to do anything other than sharing my contact info with your family and friends looking to buy or sell a home.

To help supplement some of the cost, I am asking friends and family to donate anything they can to my GoFundMe Campaign. So even those of you reading this today, please visit the campaign here https://gofund.me/8b710662. Sometimes, I like to remind people that even $5 does make an impact. So even if you think it doesn't, just remember that when enough people donate even $5, that adds up.

This has been a year unlike any I have ever lived. I wouldn't change anything for the world other than having had the chance to adopt Baby S, but I am not in control again. And with that understanding, I trust that all will be well.

- Kevin

@kevingerdes