The Struggles of Using GoFundMe to Raise Funds For IVF Journey
Let's talk about what it's like to raise money for your IVF/Surrogacy journey via a GoFundMe Campaign. In short... it isn't the most enjoyable part of this journey.
If you've been following my journey to fatherhood, either here on MiLOWE kids or my YouTube channel, you know how up and down this journey has been.
I recently started a GoFundMe campaign to attempt to raise as many funds as possible to have a biological child of my own. I won't lie; at first, I thought this would be far more simple than it has been. But let me back up a bit and share why I even started this campaign.
After "Baby S" (the foster child I was caring for earlier this year) had been transferred to a new home, I honestly broke down. It was an insanely painful thing to have to go through. I wish society focused more on what the experience for foster parents is like when it comes to the foster care system. So often, it can feel as though you are a shell of a human, and, well... you're not. In fact, it takes a strong person to be a foster parent. If only more people knew that.
After he left my care, my partner Alex asked me if I thought about the route of IVF/surrogacy to have a biological child. There would be no involvement of DCFS, no one telling me what I can do, where I can take my child, how to be a parent to my child, and most of all, no one can take them from me. So, as I thought more about it and what seemed to be an overnight decision (though it wasn't), I decided to move forward with IVF.
Over the next few weeks, I researched international agencies in Mexico as the cost to use a fertility center there was significantly cheaper than here in Los Angeles. The entire process shouldn't cost me more the $50k.
And that brings us to the campaign. I am finding that raising funds isn't the easiest thing to do. It seems as though most people would instead fund the cancer treatment of a dog more than the fertility treatment of a human bringing another human into the world. You can sense my frustration, can't you? I'm not afraid to admit that I am frustrated with the experience of GoFundMe, because I think there is power in owning my frustrations; maybe it even allows me to detach from them.
To date, the campaign has raised just over $1,300. And for that, I am grateful. It has already funded the initial Semen Analysis that I was required to determine my fertility (good news, I passed with flying colors). I actually vlogged the entire thing. That can be seen on my YouTube too. But, we still have a long way to go until I can start the stage 1 process of IVF.
The stages are broken up as follows:
Stage 0 - Semen Analysis and Bloodwork: $235.00 - COMPLETED!
Stage 1 - Sign Initial Contract/Select Egg Donor & Surrogate: $17,300.00
Stage 2 - Pregnancy Is Confirmed: $9,000.00
Stage 3 - 25th Week of Pregnancy: 9,500.00
Stage 4 - Birth of Baby: $9,500.00
I'm excited for stage 1 as I feel like this will be a really exciting thing to experience. This is where I'll sign all the contracts, meet the fertility clinic in person, pick my egg donor, make the semen deposit, and create an embryo!
I am doing my best to stay as positive as possible throughout this process. I have had many friends support me in the GoFundMe video created to talk about this journey of mine and encourage people to donate to the campaign.
I know that I need to trust the process and have faith that everything will work out as it is intended to. This is a lesson that I am sure I can use in many other areas of my life too!
One other thing to mention that I think is essential to note is that I am, of course, working and saving everything I can outside of my everyday bills. As many know, I am a Realtor here in California. It's not as though I am even trying to raise funds for the entire process; whatever I make on the GoFundMe will simply go towards what I have already saved. Anything over, it'll get donated to someone else's journey. Do I have $50k lying around? No. Am I working hard? Yes. Is it ok to contribute to a GoFundMe campaign to support someone trying to have a family? Absolutely!
With all this said, I humbly ask, reader, will you please donate as little as $1 or more to my campaign. This is a donation to help support a man looking to raise a child of his own. How glorious is that, right? - Much love.
- Kevin
