My Journey To Fatherhood - From Kevin Adopts

If you had told me four months ago that in 2021, not only would I be an approved foster parent, let alone be contributing to a blog centered around parenting, I would indeed HAVE BELIEVED EVERY WORD YOU WERE SAYING! I have always dreamed about raising children, I didn't know that I would do it alone or that it wouldn't happen until I was 34-years old, but hey, you take what you get, right?

Weeks ago, you may have seen that I was featured here on MiLOWE Kids in an interview where I got to share all about my journey to fatherhood as I do it via fostering-to-adopt. Since then, MiLOWE Kids and I have really connected and, through healthy discussion, came up with the idea of me contributing content in hopes that we can together work to bring light and awareness to all things foster care. It's time to #DestigmatizeFostering!

Four months ago, I started a GoFundMe campaign hoping to raise - are you ready for it? $30,000.00! If I am very frank with you all, I didn't think it was possible. I know that most GoFundMe campaigns that go viral do so purely out of luck. I would have no idea that only a few months later, that GoFundMe Campaign was an intention that I set that would soon actualize!

It's August 31st, 2020: I had only days before gotten back to Los Angeles from a visit home to the East Coast for my grandmother's funeral service. I spent almost the entire flight home researching private adoption from 30k+ feet above America. I had recently already had two phone calls with a private adoption agency all about the process of privately adopting a child. Now, how in the world will I find the $30k it's going to take to make this dream a reality. I can actually remember asking myself, maybe a friend will carry a child for me? Could I perhaps even have sex with a woman to become a father? Yeah, no... that wasn't going to happen. Oh yeah - for context, I am a gay man. This is a significant part of my story. On my YouTube channel, "Kevin Adopts," I talk a lot about being a single gay man fostering-to-adopt.

It's essential to bring light to the fact that anyone can foster-to-adopt a child, especially here in Los Angeles. So long as you pass the screening, you're golden! I have often gotten questions like, "Wait, are you allowed to foster when you're single?" or "How can someone afford to foster a child on their own?" or how about, "Wouldn't you think the state would try to prevent single men from fostering? Like, wouldn't that be the easiest way for a sexual predator to have direct access to a vulnerable child?" You can see I have gotten it all. These are some of the sorts of things I would like to use this platform for - answering these questions and more that too many seem to be vastly unaware of.

When I made my first video for GoFundMe (which is now on my YouTube channel) asking people to help me raise funds for my adoption, I was pretty adamant about not fostering-to-adopt. I had heard so many horror stories about the foster care system and none about the ability to foster a newborn baby. There was nothing for me to lean on that would make me even remotely interested in getting involved with foster care - goodness, was I wrong!

My second phone call with the private adoption agency I mentioned was a mess. It was 2020, so we did it all via Zoom. I was expecting another lovely phone call with the adoption agency, but what I got was a dry, script-reading, non-enthusiastic man talking to me solely about the cost to adopt privately. Note: fostering-to-adopt costs next to nothing; states really take care of most everything for the foster parent(s), but this we will get more into in upcoming weeks. Besides the state's assistance, there are so many ways I've learned to help you with expenses.)

Where was I? Ah, yes... I closed the Zoom meeting as we finished the call and immediately opened Google and searched Los Angeles Foster Care. It yielded me a search that eventually led me to Aviva Family & Children Services.

Aviva Family & Children Services is a foster agency and the agency that I am using as my foster advocate. They helped me throughout my entire orientation, training, and approval process. They are the ally between myself and the state, as well as the ones who will help me - most importantly, and excitingly, adopt a child when they become adoptable.

With my GofundMe page all set up, a meeting scheduled for Aviva to come to see my home, and me in a place of extreme excitement, I found myself merely putting one foot in front of the other. I was doing this; it may be alone; but, I was becoming a father.

It is my intention to share the narrative story of my journey to fatherhood with you. I look forward to being open-ended, vulnerable, honest, and candid with you. As I try to do with my YouTube videos, I find that the more we discuss alternative parenting options, the more we normalize foster care and adoption - especially for those in the LGBTQ community looking to foster-to-adopt.

As you read my story, I hope you become inspired to talk to your friends and family about the foster care system here in the United States. I hope to be able to educate you on some of the processes and on-going qualifications of fostering a child and maybe, just maybe, help to spark your desire to foster a child of your own!

Thanks for joining me on this unfolding story!

- Kevin

@kevinadopts