Elaine Dizon is a Filipinx growth mindset coach, writer, mother of 2, and a recognized AT&T Business Cultural Champion. She supports busy grown-ups in finding a pause in the business of busyness and leverages reflection to develop an action plan to smooth out the edges of life while being courageous to continue pushing towards those fringes.

For a long time, my relationship with money could be described as a tenuous experience. I wasn’t raised with financial literacy courses and I’ve learned several financial lessons the hard way. Student loans went the debt consolidation route, credit scores ebbed and flowed but never really stabilized, and I should have started that 401K day one…and not 14 years later at the suggestion of one of my supervisors. Fortunately, over the last ten years, I’ve reached an amicable relationship with money. One where I leverage its energy to care for responsibilities, saving (and carrying this feeling I should save more), and investing in areas of my life that serves growth – not just for myself; but also for my family, community organizations, and social causes that I believe in. In a March 31, 2021 Morningstar article, the author offered 100 statistics about women and retirement readiness. The numbers offered various lenses to review the pandemic effect, earnings gap, retirement planning, longevity, and the roles of advice in juxtaposition with the state of women’s finances. In an effort to not fall back into a state of doubt and worry around my money energy, I leaned on a resource to outline her money mindset while I looked at mine. After our conversation, I reflected on some conclusions I’ve held onto and discovered a few key learnings that will help me close some gaps in my money action plan.

I met Lauren Cañafranca on a social media networking call in December 2020. This was one of the shiniest silver lining moments of an uncertain year. Her smile, her candor, and her willingness to share her journey from massage therapist to financial coach captivated me during that call. Lauren described financial coaching as a process to “reset your relationship with money – where you are, how did you arrive at a certain point, and where you would like to go.” She leverages compassion, forgiveness, and tools to craft a system – one that enables feeling safe with your money decisions. When it was time to exchange social media handles, pitches, and e-mail addresses, I was eager to share mine and hoped that Lauren and I would talk again. Not only did we talk again, she and I shared stories about motherhood, our coaching practice, and how we are bumping up against extraordinary times every single day. So, it was with great interest that I spoke to her last month to learn more about her money conversations with her family and what lessons she can offer other families.

Lauren brings her family in the loop when it comes to finances. They discuss family goals, what will be the budget, and they forecast what their needs are as a family. Depending on the season, they can be talking about new snow pants or new bikes because it’s time to upsize from a toddler size to a child size. Or they can be talking about singing lessons or classes the children will need during school breaks. She advocates to not shy away from talking about money, no matter how old the children are. Developing a healthy relationship with money starts young and when parents involve children in the discussion, children are learning the mechanics of money – how it serves a purpose – and when there is time to invest, children can play a role in that too. For example, when it came to the bicycle, the family could set a budget at a certain price. If her child wanted a certain enhancement or feature, Lauren would welcome the discussion. She’d offer the following, “Based on the budget, the family can invest in $XXX for the bicycle. If you would like more or would like something special, let’s look at your savings from birthday money or holiday money and see what we can come up with to get the bike you want.” Boom. Not an immediate, “No.” Rather, a healthy and robust discussion where the money energy from several revenue streams can help move a dream or a vision into reality.

When Lauren mentioned that she doesn’t believe that “Rich and greedy are synonymous.” I had to look at that statement. It gave me pause. Pause is my jam. Reflection is the butter. In that moment, I realized that those two qualities are NOT the same. That rich is relative and greed is not relegated to money by itself. Lauren reminded me that there are rich individuals who are deeply generous with their money energy. In addition, more money does not denote sinister behavior. It simply is someone having more money.

Another idea, living a fully expressed life can be done when you calibrate your income while doing things that you love. This is her wish for her family and her clients. She mentioned Jackie Robinson and his inspirational story where with great risk came great reward. She leans into that story to amplify possibility and to really look at what keeps you from making a life you design. Her presence and generous spirit allowed me to be courageous and appreciate where I am at with my own life right now because I’ve calibrated my energy in a way that it is flowing with ease across my life’s intentions.

Since Lauren helped me see a few things, I asked her to offer three additional tips for anyone with relationship issues with their money energy and this is what she said:

It’s never about the money. Identify where and when you notice yourself getting a reaction that seems about the money, and dive deeper because it is never about the money.
Share what you notice with someone you trust and who holds no judgement about what you are observing.
Separate the behavior from who you are and be compassionate with yourself to heal.

I love Lauren’s empowering ideas about safely making decisions. Depending on how and when you mention a specific investment or expense, you can feel safe while making that decision or you can create security by pausing and looking further if it is the right time to invest or spend. Either way, feeling good about what you are doing is key while moving your dreams in a direction towards the outcomes you want to see.

Be well, be safe, and be loved.

Your Coach Mom,

Elaine

Lauren and I are offering services to support your money energy and money mindset. If you’re ready to dive in, please reach out.

Lauren Cañafranca is a driven, invested, and empathetic accredited Financial Counsellor Canada Candidate. She is on a mission to help you cultivate a joyful relationship with money. Among her current offers: a 12 week coaching program called Reset + Rise that helps you relieve the stress of debt and learn systems that make you feel safe to dream again. If you would like to learn more about Reset + Rise or dive into a free discovery session, check out Elbie Coaching.

In May, I am launching a book study on The Energy of Money by Dr. Maria Nemeth. Over the course of four Tuesdays in May beginning May 4th, we will dive into principles and tools that will help you align your money energy with what is most meaningful to you. To learn more, click the graphic below or go to A Book Study with Your Coach, elaine