Elaine Dizon is a growth mindset coach, writer, mother of 2, and a recognized AT&T Business Cultural Champion. She supports busy grown-ups in being courageous, to look at fixed mindset characteristics while nurturing and enhancing a growth mindset through reflection and action.

When I was growing up, my father had a way of saying one word to convey “Behave yourself.” It was an effective way to keep me from talking back to my family as well as stop me in my tracks if I ran around someone’s house while we visited. There was a tone to that word. An inflection that emphasized, “You better listen. You better straighten up.” He rarely had to say it twice. For when the word, “Girl” left his lips, I stopped. I would look at his face and see that I needed to consider what I would do next. Often, the action would be the one that showed respect – one of his core values.

Fast forward to 2017, as I juggled family life, work life, and training for 5K/10K races, I was in disarray. As much as I planned my day, I never felt like I was gaining ground much less keeping up with the various calls, meetings, events, and tasks in my calendar. I had every intention of doing what I needed to do, but I always felt like I was coming up short. This repetitive story announced, “You’re going to miss this deliverable,” or “You won’t be able to train today because you have to do this errand instead” or “Yup, you’re distracted, and you won’t be fully present with your kids when you’re with them.” Since I was distracted with whatever was next in my day, I was clearly missing out on experiencing the moment – which compounded the feeling of inadequacy.

In a similar vein of my father saying, “Girl” whenever I was not behaving, I thought I should have one word to get myself in order. I settled on the word CREATE. That one word helped me create time in my day to ensure that I would address the items needing care the most. That one word helped me create meals with whatever I had on hand for dinner or exercise the option to order something and take it home – knowing that putting food on the table was the thing to do. That one word empowered me to be present so I can take in as many details as I can. With this one word, I was creating a space to be in the right mindset for what laid ahead. The word empowered me to author my day and flow my energy and attention to what was most important moment by moment. This small shift had a profound impact to how I viewed time because I was able to create with intention.

Since CREATE has been my go-to word for the last two years, I was ready to employ it again. Then I thought, what if I am settling for this word? It’s worked with me for so long, why change it up? I had to reflect on the following questions – queries into the possible fixed mindset around my word:

Am I avoiding the challenge of finding a new word to back up my intentions?
Am I trying to prove CREATE is the penultimate word?
Does it really take a lot of effort to find a new word to help me shift into gear?
What kind of mode do I want to be in?

Upon reflection, I realized CREATE served me well. Over the next 12 months, it’s time to be RECEPTIVE. When I think of this quality, I see even more possibility ahead. Although there may be uncertainty, there is beauty in being open to what the future holds. Whatever environment or stimuli appear, I will leverage this word to put me in a position to explore before I respond. I will look at problems as opportunities. I will admit that I only know so much about a topic and I am willing to learn more. I will leap into an engagement and connect with someone in a deeper and more meaningful way. As I pondered this new word, my heart swelled at the chance to continue growing and learning over the next year.

To keep my word top of mind, I order a bracelet from MyIntent. It’s a simple bracelet that can house the word on a token. Thus, even when the word escapes me, I can look down on my wrist and there it is. A reminder to stay interested in the journey.

In the spirit of continuous learning, I will be adding One Word that Will Change Your Life by Jon Gordon, Jimmy Page, and Dan Britton to this year’s reading list. I’d like to supplement this life experience with some additional insights and data behind this practice.

If you find yourself stuck, find one word that can move you in the slightest way.

Sometimes the smallest shift can help.

Be well, be safe, and be loved.

Your Coach Mom,

Elaine

Join my free workshop in March – Where’s Your Mindset?

We will look at Fixed Mindset characteristics, discover what’s important to you, and develop a shift towards a goal.