Elaine Dizon is a growth mindset coach, writer, mother of 2, and a recognized AT&T Business Cultural Champion. She supports busy grown-ups in being courageous, to meet the moment while nurturing and enhancing a growth mindset through reflection and action. This month she is learning more about creativity and how to leverage it for playtime with children as well as keeping her mind fresh for new ideas.

As someone who follows the rules, I can fall into a trap of rigor, structure, and practice that offers comfort because of a routine process. I find great solace in what to expect next. After dealing with a few curveballs in my life, there is relief in the ho-hum. And yet, the universe wanted to balance this quest for always having a plan with something a little unpredictable, slightly chaotic, and something to keep me just a bit off balance. To gain a deeper understanding of this creative energy, I sat down with my husband and asked him a few questions about his inventiveness, restlessness, and his imaginative presence in our life.

Rasheed’s humble beginnings as an actor occurred when he was six years old in an elementary school play, “Stone Soup”. His parents recounted this performance as one for the ages. He played the old man who brought the soup bone for the pot and he did so with gusto. The voice, the posture, his projection, and his reliance on a cane to affirm his characters old age all testified to his search in bringing forth a believable character even at that age. After that show, he didn’t perform again but he was always enthralled with movies, television, shows, and plays. It was over thirty years later when he decided to take acting classes. I asked him to recount what prompted him to start acting again.

As we settled in for this casual interview, I had to chuckle. It’s usually once or twice a week after a brunch or dinner that we get to talk for at least 40-60 minutes almost uninterrupted. The kids leave us for a while, they are either in their room, streaming a show, or playing outside, and we stay in the dining room, talking. After over 20 years together, I still enjoy hearing his voice, his ideas, and his sense of humor. Rasheed put some thought into the question, and he said, “I thought that I could do it better than what I saw. Ego.” I asked him if that was still the case, and he replied, “A little bit. Mostly no. Because I am no longer naïve about performing. There are things that look easy than they are. I learned that I need to do things better. I need to fill this hole. There needs to be a push, a drive…something to keep pushing you and not simply showing that you’re better.”

Over the last 10 years, Rasheed has performed in many venues – stand up comedy/open mic nights, improv shows, sketch comedy shows, and plays. I’ve watched him rehearse, run lines, and play different games to keep his performances fresh. I’ve often wondered how his work aligns with parenting. I asked, “What surprising thing did you learn about creativity after we had kids?” He answered, “As adults we can beat ourselves down and lose the wonders that we had as a kid. We lose the magic. Creativity gives us the ability to see the unseen. To take the mundane and make it spectacular. To build something from nothing.” As he mentioned these ideas, I was nodding my head. My freedom to play in those imaginative ways has been muted as I’ve grown older. I play but in a way that has time constraints or rules. Rarely do I cut loose and play with my imagination at its wildest. At that moment, I appreciated his ability to inject his ease with creativity in our family life. I asked him if creativity bleeds into other areas of his life. He answered, “Life bleeds into creativity. Improv on the outside looks complicated. It is learned. Through practice, you are pretending to be a person. Life is improv. No script.” I followed up, “How about parenting? Does improv show up there?” He replied, “Kids make no sense sometimes. So, you pretend, you get to empathize with their lives. You can’t ignore their world. No matter how many times they talk about their favorite game, toy, or show – as a parent, you react as if it is the first time you are hearing it. You get behind their enthusiasm.” I was impressed with this answer. I can get Minecraft-fatigued after the kids talk about it for 10 minutes…and he gave me a way to reposition myself in a supportive way.

I asked Rasheed for some additional suggestions on growing one’s creative self. Here is what he offered:

Not doing anything is the only failure.
Try something you’ve never done before. Take a class.
You’re not alone. Watch You Tube videos to discover who else is out there.

In closing, he reminded me that as a family, we should always encourage each other, to play, develop our imaginations, and to follow through on our ideas. And for everyone reading, he wants to share this final thought, “We are all good at something. Sometimes it comes easy. When it isn’t, we can get better through practice.”

As I reflected on his final thought, I dug out a few things buried in my office and bought something to keep me inspired:

I’ll be sharing daily reflections on the energy of creativity this month on Instagram.

Follow me @yourcoachelaine for prompts and encouragement.

Be well, be safe, and be loved.

Your Coach Mom,

elaine

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Rasheed Custer is a Bay Area native, improv player, sketch comedy artist and writer, actor, director, and annual Tough Mudder competitor. He is currently performing with Live Clickbait – an Oakland based improv troupe currently zoomcasting radio drama.

Follow them on Instagram @LiveClickbait