Showing Up to Not Your Most Favorite Thing to Do…Like Camping
Elaine Dizon is a Filipinx life and mindset coach, writer, mother of 2, and a recognized AT&T Business Cultural Champion. She supports working moms with their next courageous conversation by churning chatter into courage through a process of pause and reflection.
Camping. In my childhood, camping was not something my family did. When we took vacations, we normally stayed at friend’s houses or in hotels. My parents did not consider camping a vacation option. For them, daily life in the Philippines consisted of cooking by fire, sleeping under mosquito nets in rooms that shared one lightbulb between three bedrooms, outhouses, and pumping water from the well and trucking it where you needed it – so, camping was not regarded as a leisurely or relationship connecting activity. When my friends would go camping, I would wonder why? Why leave your home that had everything you needed and all the modern conveniences? Why go to places that didn’t have a bathroom and shower to call your own? Why leave your home…the one you pay for to reside in? And even if I could go camping, wouldn’t it disrespect all the hard work my parents put in to move me to the mainland? I had so many questions and fortunately, I didn’t have to answer them. Until I married my husband.
I credit my husband’s decade long campaign in winning me over to go camping. He was patient. He said, “One day, you’ll get it. We’ll start camping when we have kids. Until then...” And he did. As the ten years passed and the topic came up, I had to talk it over with my dad and inspect these conclusions I had about camping. Is it disrespectful to go camping and “rough it” when roughing it in the Philippines was a part of daily life? After numerous conversations with my dad, we discussed the guilt we both carried because we had opportunities other family members did not – like the possibility of taking a vacation. Then, we realized that we all had opportunities but different ones. In the end, there was no disrespect, especially when there is gratitude about the opportunity to go camping and approach it in a respectful way -- clean up your site, lock it down, be friendly, and don’t disrupt the habitat for the animals and others around you. The next question, about leaving the home you pay for to go and sleep in a tent. I realized that camping is another type of adventure. An adventure where you adjust to other technologies and devices that aren’t so driven with distraction – but with a purpose, and most of all, a chance to set up and tear down what you need with family and friends where many conveniences are down scaled to necessities. And lastly, the bathroom situation. My husband does a good job finding sites near functioning bathrooms and showers. After many camping trips with his family, he understands this need because some members of the family needed that cared for and he never left that detail unattended. For all the worries, I found it hard to keep saying No to camping.
After pausing and reflecting on these doubts, the real question was “If I didn’t go camping, what would I be saying No to?” I realized that I would be saying no to quality time with my husband and kids. I would miss out on nature walks, looking at the stars, seeing unicorn fire in the fire pit, and all the little moments that happen as we problem solve and work out camping needs together. And in the next breath, the next question that came up, “If I do go camping, what would I be saying Yes to?” I’d be saying yes to a no (or low) connected to work e-mail week. I’d be saying yes to leisurely mornings where I would fire up the Camp Chef, boil hot water, and have my first cup of coffee outside. Over the last seven years, I’ve been camping at least nine times, and each time gets better. I realized that the chatter could keep me from being with my family in a wholehearted way. Minding the mindset is a practice that has helped me grow into something that I would prefer not to do. Problems became challenges. Failures whispered opportunity. And the post camping conversation with my husband on the ride home was a chance to review what went well, what didn’t go well, and how we will finesse the next trip -- together. He’s truly supported me in building my “camping” mindset if you will.
Here are a few tips that has helped me enjoy camping:
It’s all about tooling up. After doing the research, we judiciously pick out some things to try to make every trip more easeful. Our latest trip included:
The Camp Chef. This has been a big-time savings. Gone are the days where we get the fire pit going and cook on a cast iron pan. During this last camping trip, we transitioned from oatmeal, cereal, and pastries to full blown breakfasts with bacon, eggs, and toast. One evening, we had mashed potatoes as a side for our dinner.
Better beds. We tried out the Disc-O-Bed from Costco. This awesome contraption could be a bunk bed, side by side beds, or a couch. We were lucky to purchase it with a bag for each kit and that both kits could be loaded into a wheeled case. Pretty easy to set up with two people and with a side zippered bag that has areas for keys, loose things, and a cup holder for each bed, IT DOESN’T GET ANY BETTER! But it does because each kid slept restfully atop the firm yet flexible cot material.
Better tent. I’m a deep sleeper. I can sleep through most noises. What I can’t overcome, first light. With many families waking up at first light, we tried out the Coleman Dark Technology Tent to offer us at least another 1-2 hours of sleep in the morning. The tent advises fitting 10 people – but after fitting in the Disc-O-Bed for the kids and our Coleman Queen Size Air Mattress Cot, it was pretty tight in the tent.
It’s all about creativity.
With the tight fit in the tent, we configured the interior to be an L – where the bunk beds and the queen created a corner leaving all of us just enough space to enter and exit the tent without too much trouble. Creativity also shows up from meal planning, to multipurpose items (hello binder clips! Handy like clothes pins while keeping bags of chips closed), and to cutting a bar of soap into four so each person can have their own little nub throughout the camping trip. It’s fun to think outside of the box because you can bring these solutions back home!
It’s all about flexibility.
Even with the best laid plans, things can go awry. Taking a deep breath and giving yourself space to let the event unfold can be the kindest thing to do – especially when you are trying to get away from the hustle and grind. Letting go of expectations is freeing and allows you to explore what really matters and what you are willing to let go of to create a more enjoyable space for yourself and your family.
These three tips can help you mind your mindset as you embark on a new experience. Make sure you have the proper tools for success in your endeavor, be creative and have fun with the certain parts as well as the unexpected parts and be flexible. When you engage with these principles, you may find some new learnings and growth in the process. Let me know how it goes in the comments below!
I invite you to check out my free September Workshop, “The Parent Wedge” on September 16, 2021 at 12P PST which builds on a parent’s superpower and deepen your parent-child connection or child-parent connection. If you are treading into new and uncertain territory in your relationships, let this workshop offer you space to find clarity and the outcome you would like to see.
Be well, be safe, and be loved.
Your Coach Mom,
Elaine
