Kevin Adopts - Reunification Is Real

I've been navigating the Los Angeles County foster care system since August 2020, and since the start, the reunification of children has been brought up many times by all sorts of people. It's a significant fact in the entire foster care process that anyone who plans to embark on this journey needs to know about.

First, it's essential to explain the word "Reunification" when used in this context. Children enter the foster care system for all sorts of reasons, and when this happens, the city will immediately seek out a foster care family for the child. Once a qualifying family has been established, the child lives with this family for the foreseeable future; but things don't just stop there. In fact, they're only beginning. While some families, like myself, bring a child into their home because they want to adopt a child and foster care is a great way to accomplish this, they frequently do not get to adopt the first child placed in their family. This is because of reunification.

While the child is living in a safe environment with the foster family, the biological parents are given opportunities to improve their situations as parents and the quality of care they will provide for their child; should the state grant custody of the child back to the parents. If they meet all the terms set forth by a judge, the child is then reunified with the biological family (bio-family). This is the goal of the foster care system, to reunify children to their bio-family. So that begs the question, what about the foster family? How could someone handle raising a child for any amount of time only to be told you have to give that baby up? Good question... and honestly, it's a question I get asked a lot!

Many people have asked me how I can raise a child for any amount of time, only to be told I have to give the child up. And while this question has begun to slightlyannoy me, I do understand why people ask - people are interested. And maybe that's what annoys me most? It feels less about a concern for me than people having thoughts that they could never go through foster care because of reunification. Often times my next opinion after being asked this is something like, "Well, if no one does it and if no one takes on this difficult task of fostering and all that comes with it, then what happens to all these children needing homes?". Being asked anything revolving around how I can put myself through the foster care system, knowing I will probably have to experience giving up a child, is sometimes frustrating. It makes me wonder how many people in our world are actually willing to be stretched thin and how many simply say they would be. I mean, think about it, if more walked-the-talk, might we have more families who foster and fewer children without homes?

I made a YouTube video on my channel all about my thoughts on reunification if you'd like to check it out.

I understand that because I have not yet been placed with a child and that since I have not had a small, tender life relying upon me for its every need, that there just might be something about reunification that I can't possibly understand. I accept that; however, I look at this pretty logically. Without being in foster care, odd are, this child I will be raising would be severely neglected. And, if I go through parenting a child only to be told I must give the child back to their bio-family, and it's too emotionally draining for me, then I never have to do this again. However, if I stop, if I allow all the negative and fear to seep into my thoughts about this any more than intellectually understanding that reunification is real and hard, then one more child or children I could have given love and support to go without. And that is not something I can live with.

There are things in life that are not going to be fun, and I can imagine that this is on that list. Giving a child back that you've raised is probably at the top of the list of things no one wants to do, but sometimes it's in the best interest of the child - so says the court system.

I encourage you to check out my YouTube video because I go deeper into my feelings about this entire process. A journey that has already had its ups and downs, but I believe that what's to come will be beautiful and life changing.

- Kevin

You can follow Kevin here and read more about his journey here.