Today we are excited to have Kevin Gerdes of Kevin Adopts and Kevin Gerdes Realty on The Mag. Kevin is a single gay man in LA navigating the foster to adopt parenting journey. Read more about Kevin, his mission, making room for his future baby and more below!

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Tell us your story! We’d love to hear a little bit about yourself, your job and the journey you’re currently on.

Well, I have always wanted to be a father; it's just that growing up gay; over time, you start to lose hope that it'll ever actually happen. When you're battling not only your thoughts of shamefulness, it becomes hard to believe you're capable of much at all. That is why I am so grateful to be a 34-year who is more self-aware of himself than he's ever been. I am blessed to be someone courageous enough to not only find his path in life but to fully and wholeheartedly embark on it. I am aware that many want to take leaps in life and never do. That's never been my m.o.

But as not to stray from your question, I was raised in Pasadena, MD, and moved to Los Angeles when I was 23-years old. I came here to work in the entertainment industry and have been doing that consistently since. More recently, though, I got my real estate license again (I was initially licensed in Maryland when I was 18). I mostly work as a Realtor but do book an acting job now and then when it works with my schedule. Selling real estate is an excellent profession here in LA; the homes are unlike anything anywhere globally. Also, it still allows me to be in front of the camera via my YouTube channel centered around all things Los Angeles Real Estate.

This year, 2020, put a lot of perspective into my life - as I am sure it has for many people worldwide. I acknowledge how blessed I am, how well taken care of I am by my Creator, and just how fragile life can be. Although I have been debating how and when I would go down the path of parenthood for many years, it was the events of 2020 that solidified it all for me. And that is how it all began!

When did you know you wanted to adopt?

One day I asked myself, "Kevin, what're you doing, and what're you waiting for? Who're you wait for?" Then an old friend of mine came to thought. A few years ago, she adopted a child on her own and became a single mom. Honestly, I didn't quite get it; now, I certainly do. When you know it's time, you know.

Before I knew it, I was on a plane Google-ing adoption agencies that worked with LGBTQ people. At first, I was sure that private adoption was the route I wanted to take. I had two phone calls with an agency that will remain unnamed and was utterly turned off by how much they focused more on the expenses than the actual adoption. Next, I found myself sitting in front of the computer back home in LA and Googled "Los Angeles Foster Agencies" and was taken to a site with a list of agencies. Aviva Family & Children Services struck my eye, and before I knew it, I was on the phone with a woman who was so kind to me. She listened to all my questions and gave me not only answers but hope. Even still, I was not 100% sold. Until something magical happened, 40-mins into the call, as we were wrapping up, I said to her, "Oh, by the way, I didn't get your name." She replied, "My name is Magaly"; this was divine! It was what I needed - an unspoked affirmation of the truth at work. You see, Magaly is also my mother's name (although she spelled it with an extra "A" - Maagaly). In 34-years, I have never met another person with my mom's name until that day. Three days later, Magaly was at my home, and the process began!

Today, I am one week away from my final home inspection and less than a month away from my final approval to be licensed to foster! It has been a lot of what I often hear, hurrying up, and waiting; however, I am doing my best! It now feels exciting and thrilling that there will most likely be a little one in my life in only a few weeks. That is a gift I carry with a sense of pride.

I have been documenting my journey along the way on YouTube through my second channel called Kevin Adopts. As I took to YouTube to find other single gay men going through the foster/adopt process, I was shocked about the lack of content. That's when I was urged by friends to start a channel of my own for others looking for support. That is why I decided to share my story. It's been a blessing to receive some of the messages I have from single men telling me how inspiring I have been to them. Getting questions about how to foster/adopt is unlike anything I thought would happen.

Is your family supportive of your decision to have a baby and raise them as a single father?

Some of my family are supportive, and some are not. Look, I am a gay man, and most LGBTQ people are accustomed to some pushback from not only members of society at large but, and sadly, also our own families. Today I am thrilled to be as happy as I am of the man I have grown into over my life. I am grateful for the challenges I have faced as ALL OF THEM have shaped me into the person I am today. I have a family member who mentioned that they do not think LGBTQ people should be allowed to adopt children; however, the conversation was met with so much grace. I understand that simply because we share the same genetic makeup does not mean that people cannot form their own opinions throughout their lives - even if those opinions vary from mine, factual data, or the truth. And then there are those in my family who are not only supportive but are excited for me!

And I would be remised if I did not mention the unwavering support I have from my chosen family, friends, and church community. These people have been my rock when I needed them many times over. Most specifically - Joseph, Mike, and Daniel. I love you all.

What are some things you've had to change (like moving to a new home) in order to accommodate for this big step in your life?

Yes, there were indeed changes. Because I am fostering a young baby, they will have their crib and comfortable space in my bedroom with me. As I know that not everyone knows - children 2-years and older must, at that time, have a bedroom of their own.

While I was in a 1-bedroom already, I did have a pool with no fence around it, which did not meet the safety requirements for fostering when there is a pool on the property. I ended up moving to a beautiful home in Sherman Oaks, right on Ventura Blvd, and could not be happier with the sense of pride and ownership that those who live here exhibit for the community!

How much support do you get from your foster/adoption agency in navigating the process?

As mentioned, the kindness and warmth I felt ever since my initial call with my foster agency is what brought me down this process. Magaly and Kelsey at Aviva have handled my countless questions and even times of stress (yes, this process will get stressful) with such grace; it has been outstanding. While I have worked with children in various ways in the past, I did learn a bit that was unexpected.

As I am placed with a child, I believe that they will continue to offer the same amount of passion as they have thus far! I have started a t-shirt line promoting fostering children. I will be donating 10% of all sales to Aviva as a way to give back to them.

Describe what you think fatherhood will be like in one sentence.

Honestly, how can I truly know until someone's life is literally in the care of my hands? I don't think I can do it in one sentence. Sorry!

What I can say is, I am ready for it. I am prepared to nurture, support, help grow, and love any child God brings my way. I look forward to how this will change me into a more compassionate and empathic man. I look forward to learning more, smiling more, holding a child to comfort them, and all the ups and downs that come with this. I know this for sure, I don't have all the answers and I never will; all I can do is be of service - and that is what I intend on doing.

And finally, where can we find you?

Website: www.kevinadopts.com

Kevin Adopts YouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/KevinAdoptsYouTube

Instagram: www.instagram.com/kevinadopts

T-Shirt Store: www.bonfire.com/store/kevinadopts

Real Estate Website: www.kevingerdesrealtor.com

Real Estate YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/c/kevingerdes