Resources To Navigate Tantrums And Big Feelings From Littles
When our two-and-a-half-year-old daughter turned two, we met a whole new side of our kid… demon Mia. Kidding! But the increased whining and melt-down tantrums (that always seem to come at the worst times) can be puzzling to deal with. Like so much of what we cover on The Mag, we researched them to help ourselves and we share our newfound knowledge with you.
All kids are different so there’s no one size fits all solution to dealing with situations, particularly melt-downs, but I thought it would be helpful to gather six resources for you (linked below) that address tantrums in a myriad of ways. Hopefully a mix of techniques will help you and your family.
But first, Meet The Temper Tantrum Scale:
The temper tantrum scale, developed by Lauren Wakschlag of Northwestern University in Chicago, recognizes tantrum behaviors and duration.
Answer the following questions with “never in the past month”, “less than once per week”, “1-3 days per week”, “4-6 days of the week”, “every day of the week”, or “many times each day”:
How often does your child…
Have a temper tantrum
Stamp feet or hold breath during a tantrum
Have a tantrum that lasts more than 5 minutes
Keep on having a tantrum even when you tried to calm him/her down
Break or destroy things during a tantrum
Have a tantrum until exhausted
Hit, bite, or kick during a tantrum
Lose temper or have a tantrum with a parent
Lose temper or have a tantrum with other adults
Lose temper or have a tantrum when frustrated, angry or upset
Lose temper or have a tantrum when tired, hungry, or sick
Lose temper or have a tantrum to get something he/she wants
Lose temper or have a tantrum during daily routines such as bedtime or mealtime
Lose temper or have a tantrum “out of the blue” or for no clear reason
Become frustrated easily
Yell angrily at someone
Act irritably
Have difficulty calming down when angry
Become angry very quickly
Get extremely angry
Have a hot or explosive temper
Stay angry for a long time
“To figure out which behaviors were truly abnormal, Wakschlag and colleagues surveyed nearly 1,500 preschoolers. She found that 95 percent of children engaged in certain behaviors with predictable frequency, and established this as the baseline.” Read the full article on Fatherly, for more on determining normal tantrum levels.
Here are six accounts, parenting coaches and articles that might be helpful to you:
Parent Good: book time with a professional parenting coach
NY Times: Temper Tantrum Article
Child Mind: What Not To Do When Your Child Is Having A Tantrum
Zero To Three: Toddler Tantrums 101
Happy You Happy Family: Handling Kids Temper Tantrums
