Parents Share Their Experiences Preparing Older Siblings For The New Baby Pt. 2
A number of people have asked us for advice on preparing the family and specifically older siblings for the baby to come, so we turned to parents of the MiLOWE village to share their personal experiences on leveling up with a second baby. Check out part 1 right here for more practical/awesome advice:
Once you found out you were pregnant, how did you prep your older child for the birth of their new sibling?
Did you and your partner make any arrangements in advance for postpartum plans like splitting duties for each kid, cooking/cleaning etc.?
How did you introduce your new baby to their older sibling(s)? Did they get them a special gift? Did you say anything particular to prep them for the big day?
Would you do anything differently?
Jordan (2 weeks old), Mia (28 months)
Victoria said:
1) Well I wanted to wait to introduce the idea of having another baby/sibling to my son Logan when I was showing, but it didn’t quite work that way. We had to explain to him why I was feeling sick and why I didn’t have the same energy anymore as before. My husband would tell our son, “There’s a baby in mommy’s tummy and she can’t carry you as much for right now." So that was the first introduction of his baby sister to my son. There after, we started reading books to him about becoming a big brother and the family expanding. In many ways my daughter’s presence was well established before she was born, as I talked to my son about her in an inclusive way during our day. For example, if I’m laying down in an awkward position, I’ll tell my son, “Mommy needs another pillow because Baby Taal is uncomfortable inside of mommy and I have to help her.” When he talks to her in my belly, I would always follow it up with, “Your sister is so lucky to have such a loving brother like you,” or “I think you made her laugh just by saying that!” My son loved it.
2) Postpartum plans for us was slightly different this time around. Due to the pandemic, we knew we weren’t getting help from family due to the pandemic. So for the first two months, we hired someone to be here mainly for my son, as I took the oar of caring for our newborn. My husband and I have an unspoken way of sharing workloads. This system isn’t for everyone, but we somehow organically take turns in picking up where one needs a time out or a time off. Our system isn’t always seamless, but it works 90% of the time. Also, my daughter’s birth was met by the death of my husband’s business partner two days after, so I consciously gave my husband a lot of time to grieve and reinvent his work.
3) I couldn’t have asked for a better introduction between the siblings. We initially planned to stay just one night in the hospital but ended up staying 2 nights due to my daughter’s bilirubin levels. That actually played to our advantage because my husband came home first and spent the night with my son. They got to bond and talk about the new baby and how mommy was doing. Due to Covid, my son couldn’t come into the maternity ward, but he was able to go to the hospital up to the front desk and help his dada bring food to mommy and his baby sister. The day my daughter and I came home from the hospital will always be one of my sweetest memories of those two. As soon as the garage opened, he ran to the car and couldn’t wait for us to get out. My son was so excited he couldn’t wait for us to get out of the car and greeted his sister in her carseat. That was so very precious! And when we all settled inside our home, my daughter Taal was able to give her brother a gift. There was so much love from the start, and it continues to grow day by day.
4) Hmmm I’m tempted to say I wouldn’t change anything…. but I would’ve preferred to not have the pandemic looming during my pregnancy and birth. If there wasn’t a pandemic, my husband and I both felt strongly about having our son Logan being present at the birth of his sister. As is, I still find it to be perfect.
Kristin said:
1. As soon as I started showing, we told our older son that mommy had a baby in her belly, and soon it would be his little brother. He chose a nickname for the baby that we called the baby for the next 5 months. He would talk about the baby by this name at preschool and drew pictures of him, and everything. So excited :)
2. We got a baby doll for my older son to play with and talked about how to feed and hold him gently, etc. My older son practiced wearing a baby doll in a little sling around the house.
3. Older son picked out a little present for the baby that we wrapped and put in the closet for the big day. When he came to the hospital to meet his baby brother, we made sure the baby was in the bassinet and not in mom or dad's arms. Big brother was the first person to get to meet the baby, which was very exciting. We had the baby 'give' big brother a present, which was a set of super hero capes, that he put on right away and wore in all the pictures which was so cute and hilarious
4. Once the baby was here, my husband spent a LOT of time with my older son doing fun errands, playing soccer, doing big boy stuff which really helped keep the jealousy at bay
