Michelle Carter is a lover of music, mystical sounds and connector of the emotional magic of sound in film. She and her husband, Ben, are the adoptive parents to Baby Z, whom they affectionately refer to as The Wizard. Each week for the next 6 weeks, Michelle will take you down the road - ups, down, the passion and frustration of their two year journey to adoption with the help of Aviva Family and Children’s Services. Aviva is a nonprofit, non-sectarian 501(c)(3) organization that believes that every child and every family in our Los Angeles community deserves the chance for a brighter future.

I always knew adoption was something I wanted to experience in this lifetime but I wasn’t sure if my husband felt the same way. One thing we did know is that we both wanted to have a family. When the time came, we talked it through and it turned out we were both open to many options of how this could happen. The traditional way wasn’t happening as quickly as we thought it would, so we started on the second part of our ‘Plan A’… adoption!

I started the initial process long before my husband was ready. It was about a year and a half before we officially started the required training, that I had called an adoption hotline in Sacramento. The woman I spoke to was so nice and answered a lot of my questions about adopting through foster care. I still had so many more and she couldn’t give me the right answers I was looking for. At the time, I was looking for statistics, I wanted success stories, I wanted timelines and most importantly I wanted guarantees (ps. like anything in life, there’s never guarantees). I left the conversation feeling hopeful, excited but equally scared - I still didn’t know how we were going to make this a reality. Shortly after that call, I started researching other options, such as foreign adoption and private adoption. They all had pros, cons and no guarantees that the child would remain in your care... so it seemed like all options were terrifying.

As time carried on, I just couldn’t kick the feeling that adoption was something that I desperately wanted to do and as much as we kept on waiting for the perfect timing in our lives, there was no such thing. We had to decide which path we were going to go down… and soon. The more I did my research of how many kids were in foster care in LA county alone, I felt so strongly that that was the path we needed to take and my husband agreed. One night several months later, I was driving home on a street I’ve driven hundreds of times before and as I was stopped at the red light and looked over to the left, I saw a huge sign on the side of the building that said ‘Foster and Adopt’. As soon as I got home I looked up the address and it was called 'Aviva Family and Children' I got the number and I called first thing the next morning. For more on this, check out Pt. 1 of Our Adoption Journey.

So how did we know adoption was right for us? Flexibility and trusting our gut instincts. This is how Ben and I make all of our decisions - from our careers, on where we live and almost every aspect of our lives together. Being a parent (no matter how you become one) requires flexibility - but in the case of adoption, be prepared to get a call and within hours you’re home with a gorgeous baby. This is a whole new level of flexibility that is really surreal. I’ve come to realize there’s no guarantees when it comes to any form of parenting. And adopting through foster care is no exception - it's not a straight path and every situation is so different. In general, I think you need to be open, flexible and have a lot of faith that you will ultimately end up with the right child for your family. We have been so lucky to have such a supportive team and the best social worker for us, Kelsey Applebee (who still answers my almost daily calls)!

Adoption is not easy and it’s definitely scary and getting placement of your child is just the beginning of the process but it’s worth every second, every laugh and every tear. Our story has not been short but it’s also been pretty amazing in so many ways and we now have a wizard in our family (that bosses us around), we gained new family members, a whole a lot of love and many new experiences. We wouldn’t change a thing. We am so grateful for everyone that has shared our journey with us. We are now two years with our little wizard and we are are now entering a new part of our journey as her adoption is now finalized. And life is going to be full of new adventures and challenges, I’m sure. More on that coming soon…

- Michelle

For families that are interested in learning more about fostering, adopting, volunteering, donating, or any of our other services with Aviva, please call (323) 876-0550.