Nine Hard Truths You Probably Need To Hear As A New Homeschooling Parent
When I first met Christianne back in February and she asked me to write articles about homeschooling I was like “ok sure but isn’t this like REALLY niche???” and… HAHAHAHAHAAA past me was so naive. Ok so now EVERYONE homeschooled (and depending on where you live, still are) because they had to. But one thing I’m seeing a lot right now is families CHOOSING to homeschool (as opposed to public school distance education or in-person schooling), for a variety of reasons. And this is so cool! But also, I get it it’s scary too!
Now as a previously homeschooled child who spent their whole life KNOWING that they were going to homeschool their kids and made this decision when there was very much not a pandemic, this was a TERRIFYING decision. I can’t imagine how it feels to be a normal person this fall. So I’m here today with some hard to swallow truths from my experience on both ends of homeschooling that I hope you’ll find encouraging:
YOU ABSOLUTELY 100% SHOULD NOT TRY TO REPLICATE A SIX HOUR SCHOOL DAY.
Look, I get that it’s tempting to try to model your homeschool day on what you’re most familiar with (classroom education), but I’m going to stop you right here and just say don’t. Don’t even try. A typical public school day not only includes lunch and recess and lining up to go between activities but ALSO all the time that goes into classroom management and teaching to a group of 20+ kids. While I wouldn’t say theres a such thing as a “typical” homeschool day I think we can agree that if there was… it would have none of those things and does not at all need to be nearly that long (for reference, my 3rd grader and Kindergartener are almost always done with their formal learning for the day by lunchtime)
IT’S NOT GOING TO LOOK LIKE INSTAGRAM.
I mean, once in a GREAT while it will and you’ll sit back teary eyed as your sun kissed and windswept children jubilantly name all of the animals you encounter on your tide pool excursion on which they are very well behaved. But please don’t let that be your expectation of homeschooling because the day to day is a lot of dutiful, unglamorous work through the regular math and language arts material that’s really not all that different from public school, it’s just happening inside your house and no one has their hair brushed and someone isn’t wearing pants. THAT is normal and what the instagram homeschoolers aren’t showing you.
YOU DON’T NEED ALL THE STUFF.
I KNOW we have all seen the pinterest moms with a full on classroom in their house with all of the manipulative and activities all in matching labeled bins (Actually I used to know one in real life and let me tell you there are few things that made me feel shittier than being in her house). Maybe you’ve met a homeschool family that uses the same brand of expensive religious textbooks for all subjects (including math) and spends $150 per subject per kid on their curriculum. While both of those are 100% valid ways to homeschool, they are absolutely NOT the way it has to be. There are plenty of affordable curriculum options and it’s definitely more common to piece together different brands than use one company for everything. It’s great if you have a whole room you can dedicate as a homeschool space but you can also make do with what you have (@kristenrogers is some real homeschooling-in-a-small-space inspo!)
YOU PROBABLY WON’T USE THE SAME METHOD THE ENTIRE TIME YOU’RE HOMESCHOOLING.
Here’s the number one hardest thing about being on the internet: the most visible/vocal people are going to be the most extreme. So… it’s really easy to find articles and testimonials about why one particular homeschool philosophy is the BEST one and why you should do it FOREVER. But… things change. Your kids change, you change, your needs change, your approach is going to need to be flexible to accommodate that. Please do not force yourself through a program or method just because that’s what you started with. I can tell you that in the seven years I was homeschooled, I probably did five or six different types of schooling. And my three younger siblings all did different things at different times. Hell, we’re only on our fourth year and we’ve yet to do two years of the same thing.
IT WILL TAKE A LONG TIME TO ADJUST.
I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news but you’re probably not going to be able to put a pretty “daily routine” poster on the wall and that’s just how your homeschool days will go. I mean by all means make the poster, but be ready for it to take a few WEEKS before you really see if it works for your family and be willing to adjust it (possibly a lot) if it doesn’t.
EVERY KID/FAMILY IS DIFFERENT YOU LITERALLY CAN NOT COMPARE ANYTHING.
Hi, I’m a single mom that runs her own business from home, my homeschool day looks nothing like my friends that are exclusively SAHM moms with a breadwinner spouse, or my friends that have two working parents who split schooling according to their work schedules, or my friends who’s kids have learning disabilities, or my friends who are homeschooling with nursing babies. I think support and collaboration within the homeschool community are AMAZING resources but please know that what works for your kids’ education is 100% as unique as them (and you!).
THERE WILL BE GAPS IN YOUR CHILD’S EDUCATION.
A VERY COMMON question/objection to homeschooling that there may be some area of schooling that can’t be done perfectly at home so therefore why even bother trying. WELL, to that I say, look back on your education (whether public, private, or home) , and tell me: Did every single teacher you had teach every piece of material perfectly so that you mastered all of it? I’m going to guess the answer is no! Now obviously don’t use this to not try to do a good job homeschooling, just, remember that we’re all human beings and there is no one perfect form of education.
YOU’RE GOING TO NEED ALL THE SUPPORT YOU CAN GET.
As humans in general I don’t really think we’re meant to do things alone. And homeschooling ESPECIALLY is one of those things where you really do need to build up a solid network of resources. This may look like enrolling in a homeschool charter where you have a dedicated teacher to help guide your educational plans, joining a co-op that meets weekly, signing up for tutoring, lessons, and enrichment classes, or joining facebook groups for homeschoolers. Its a LOT easier to find resources now than it was when I was homeschooled in the late 90’s, and truly, the “socialization” question is… a non-issue at this point.
AS A PARENT YOU ARE UNIQUELY EQUIPPED TO EDUCATE YOUR SPECIFIC CHILD.
It is VERY NORMAL to look at yourself and go, “I’m just a regular person and not a school teacher, I can’t do a good job at this.” But here’s the thing, what you may not have in training on educational standards in the public school system or how to manage a classroom, you have YOUR child’s ENTIRE LIFE EXPERIENCE and know and love them so deeply that you DO know how to support them in their learning. And by being your child’s teacher year after year, you’ll only develop that connection and understanding to always make the adjustments and improvements that your family needs. Yes, you’ll probably need a lot of support, and yes it will be hard, and yes maybe you don’t feel prepared, but you absolutely 100% definitely can do this.
And look, I get it, this is probably one of the hardest parenting decisions you’ve ever made, and you did it IN A PANDEMIC. I want you to know that you making the best decision for your family you can with the information and circumstances you have IS the best decision you can make for your family full stop. And if you’re really feeling lost or alone in your homeschool journey you can literally send me an email and I will do my best to help remind you that you’re a badass for being willing to try something new to help your kids learn. I’m not joking my email address is contact@victoriaannmeyers.com
- Victoria aka Homegrown Homeschooler
insta: @victoriaannmeyers
