Mid-Year Rituals
Elaine Dizon is a life and mindset coach, writer, mother of 2, a recognized AT&T Business Cultural Champion, and a 2021 recipient of the AT&T Spark Award – the company’s highest honor for Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion work bridging Tolerance to Understanding. She supports, empowers, and celebrates women who are looking to move beyond uncertainty and grief towards a life filled with intention, meaning, and joy.
Every January, we begin the year with goals and intentions and a renewed energy to do things differently. For me, I spend at least two hours at the beginning of the year crafting what I would like to accomplish in the new year. To get there, I do an annual review of the previous year and some visioning on what I see for the new year. Getting a sense of what I learned over the course of twelve months and acknowledging the growth areas of my life helps me understand how and when I fell short in some other areas. Seeing both sides of the win/loss continuum helps me in being gentle with myself in my failures. One of my favorite quotes is, “Fail. Fail often. Fail forward.” from John C. Maxwell. This statement captures the iterative process in improving something over time. It offers safety to fail because it reminds you that failure is part of the journey and every time you fail, you come back from it in a more comfortable posture -- to own what happened and set yourself up for a comeback. Along the way, you are learning something new after each failure.
According to discoveryhappyhabits.com, 75% of people who have resolutions keep them. The number continues to fall week over week and after six months, less than 50% of those who have resolutions have kept them. With these types of statistics in mind, I’ve leveraged a mid-year ritual of taking stock on the goals and intentions that were set at the beginning of the year. It is like the annual pause and reflection practice I mentioned; however, this time, you are focused on the last 5-6 months. With a shorter timeframe to look back on, I’ll pick a day and make a date with myself and set aside at least 45 minutes to ground myself and answer the following questions.
Did I do what I said I would do?
For this question, I’ll look back on any notes or journal entries that I made at the beginning of the year. I usually have one journal that houses the annual reflection and the two week check ins I do with myself throughout the year. I’ll read the annual entry and review my vision for the year and how the goals and intentions demonstrate that vision. I highlight the ones I was able to accomplish in green. For the outstanding goals, I highlight the ones I want to keep in yellow. For the goals and intentions that don’t warm my heart anymore, I will put a star and revisit them at some point later this year.
What’s changed in my life since January?
Here, I’ll assess what shifts and transitions I’ve made over the last five-six months. I create two columns and note these items down as either in my control or outside my control. Underneath the table, I consider the strengths that emerged during these situations and reflect on what I learned in the process.
What have I accomplished so far?
Outside of my goals and intentions, I think about what else I accomplished so far this year. Unexpected experiences, people I’ve met, and a-ha moments. When we don’t celebrate these moments all year, it’s time that you do. As you write them, take a moment to appreciate each one and reflect on how did you arrive into that moment, how did you meet the moment, and what made that moment so sweet. Reliving these moments allows you to resonant with that time again and is likely to remind you on what was most meaningful to you in that accomplishment.
What else would I like to accomplish for the last six months of the year?
As much as we are always thinking about what to do next, perhaps the question is what not to do. Releasing and letting go of goals and intentions means creating more space and room for the ones that remain top of mind. Remember, falling short is ok. It’s not a hard “NO” as much as it is a pause, until you know better.
In Ethan Kross’ book Chatter, he outlines the importance of ritual. “Performing a ritual—a fixed sequence of behaviors that is infused with meaning—provides people with a sense of order and control that can be helpful when they’re experiencing chatter. Although many of the rituals we engage in (e.g., silent prayer, meditation) are passed down to us from our families and cultures, performing rituals that you create can likewise be effective for quieting chatter.” If the chatter of your resolutions is getting in the way of you maintaining them, try out the questions in this blog and see if something becomes a little more clear during this practice. With six to seven months left in the year, it’s a great time to reflect on what your vision is and what small step you can do to move forward with that vision. If you have a mid-year ritual or practice that supports you in sustaining your resolutions, please share them with me! I’d love to diversify my practice with any new tips or tricks.
Always Cheering You On
Your Coach Mom,
Elaine
If you are looking for support in looking at where you are at with your goals or intentions or maybe would like to discovery what your goals or intentions are, then schedule a discovery session with Elaine. Find a time that works for you and take 45 moments to check in with support.
