In honor of Christianne’s maternity leave we asked some of our favorite people to share stories from "the fourth trimester," the period between birth and 12 weeks postpartum during which your baby (or the baby you care for) is adjusting to the world and you're adjusting to your baby. Today Jennifer Malone, a Los Angeles based personal trainer and nutritionist, is talking about the do’s and dont’s of the fourth trimester.

When I was pregnant in 2016, I had never heard of the 4th Trimester. Shoot, I barely heard about the 4th Trimester until I was halfway through it. I knew about Postpartum Depression (which is something I eventually had), I knew the phrase “sleep when the baby sleeps”(which rarely happened to me), and that you forget about the labor pains once you meet your little one (this was very true for me!). There’s so much more information available now and I am so happy that the 4th Trimester is acknowledged versus when I was pregnant and felt like I was by myself in my feelings. Even though my daughter, Scarlett, is 4 years old now, I remember so much of the 4th Trimester and what I wish someone would have explained to me. So below, I have listed for you a few Do’s and Don’ts that I have picked up along the way. And truthfully most these can be applicable during any phase of motherhood you are in!

Do - Sleep when you can. But please do not put stress on yourself to “sleep when the baby sleeps”. Can it happen and is it possible? Yes and yes. But if it doesn’t happen, that’s okay too. I stressed so much about making sure I slept when Scarlett slept that I overly stressed myself awake. And then I was grouchy and even more tired. So sleep when you can. If someone offers to watch the baby so you can sleep, take it and run straight to your bed. Use that time to allow yourself to relax and not stress out about sleeping the allotted time your baby will nap for. Scarlett was such a bad sleeper when she was little; when I did nap when she napped, it would only last for a few minutes and then I was delirious and grouchy; literally the worst combo.

Don’t - Don’t compare to other moms. Seek out advice from other moms? Totally fine. But the SECOND you start to compare yourself to another mom, the second so much as a tiny thought blurb of comparison pops in your head, you stop and change your mindset. Start the affirmations now - I am the best mom for my child. I am more than enough. I am strong. I am capable. Motherhood is hard work. It will twist and turn you in ways you never thought possible and if you are not kind to yourself, if you constantly compare how you are as a mom versus Mama Sue next door, I can guarantee you will have a much harder time accepting the hard work of motherhood. And especially now with everything being aesthetically pleasing on social media, the comparison game is strong. You’re more likely to see the pretty pictures and the perfectly articulated captions about motherhood than a post with dishes in the sink, laundry piling up, and a caption stating how real motherhood can get. This is such an important rule to remember. Please do not compare yourself to another mom. You are the best mom for your child and you are doing the best you can at that moment.

Do - Take all the pictures. You don’t need to post them, but take them for the memories. You’re going to look back on them so much once your little one gets older. And I can promise you, you’re not going to care how you looked in that picture, you’re going to be remembering what was happening in that picture and how you felt at the moment.

Don’t - Don’t try to make time go even faster. One thing I constantly did while in the 4th Trimester (and really the whole first year of Scarlett’s life) was consistently hope for the next milestone and wish that time would go faster so it would be “easier” for me. And now, with a 4 year old, I wish I savored the moments more. I wish I had taken the time to really enjoy the newness of the season we were in. As much as I enjoy the times with Scarlett now, I wish I could go back to those days where she was my little babe and cherish the little cuddles and little yawns.

Do - Reach out to other moms for support. I am now in so many mom groups on both Facebook and Instagram and they really are a lifesaver. It’s just nice to know that there is a mom out there who knows exactly what you are going through. And they can be your village! That phrase “it takes a village” is so true and even if your IG mom bestie is across the country, just having that support is the little breather you didn’t know you needed.

Don’t - Don’t hide what you’re feeling. Baby blues, PPD (postpartum depression), PPA (postpartum anxiety) are real things that you may experience. I was so worried about what others would think of me and the thoughts that I had, that I kept a lot of what I was going through in. It took a lot for me to come out and say what I needed to say, but it helped when I finally came out and said it. If you need to hire a professional to help, don’t let that make you feel ashamed. It is so common, and you are going to feel so much better once you get the help.

Do - Take the time for yourself, whenever you can; you deserve to pamper yourself. Stay up a bit late and watch your favorite show. Use nap time to give yourself a mani/pedi. Mindlessly scroll on social media during a feeding session. Get outside and go for a walk or run when you do have someone watch the baby. Walk down every aisle in Target. Journal. Take an extra long bubble bath. Drink an extra glass of wine. Do something for you.

I hope that this list helps. There’s so many beautiful, messy, crazy, enjoyable parts to the 4th Trimester. Enjoy it, cry during it, feel all the emotions because it is a wild ride. You’re going to grow in ways you never thought you could and each day will put you through a test of strength and endurance. But mama, remember that you are your child’s world. There is nothing you can’t handle. The days are long, but oh my, are the years so short.

- Jennifer

You can find Jennifer here at @jenniferlindsey_.