Kelsey Applebee, Adoptions Coordinator at Aviva is back to talk about misconceptions with adoption, discuss difficult FAQs and shed light on her challenging and rewarding job. In case you missed pt. 1 of this interview, check it out!

Aviva Family and Children’s Services is a nonprofit, non-sectarian 501(c)(3) organization that believes that every child and every family in our Los Angeles community deserves the chance for a brighter future. Read more about Kelsey and Aviva below!

What are the biggest challenges of your work? What are the greatest rewards?

There are so many challenging aspects of this job, because we work so closely with each family and each child, when they are hurting or struggling, we also feel that deeply. You also get attached to the kids and are sad to see them go, even though being reunified with their birth families is a positive thing. There’s a lot of red tape involved with adoptions, which can be really frustrating. However, when I am standing in court with a family during an adoption finalization hearing, seeing them so happy and knowing that a child is getting a forever home, I forget about all of that and it makes it all worth it. It is also very rewarding to see a child be successfully reunified with a parent who has bettered themselves and is now able to care for their child. Aviva stays involved with most of our families post-adoption, we invite them to our holiday parties and support groups, so I love seeing our kids thriving and enjoying their lives.

Michelle and Ben with their adopted daughter, Baby Z

What does the process look like for matching families?

While the families are going through certification, we ask them what they want their family composition to be, are they wanting to foster/adopt a newborn? An older child? A sibling set? Once we certify them, we get calls from the county asking if we have a family for a child, and are given a few details about the child and circumstances. We call our families that would be interested in accepting placement, and hopefully we have one that says yes!

When we are looking to make a match for an older child that is already adoptable, we gather all of the background information about the family and what they are looking for in a family. We then compare that to the waiting children of LA County, and see if our family would be a good fit for one of the children (I encourage families curious about adopting older children from foster care to check out www.heartgalleryla.org to explore just a few of those kids waiting for forever families). If we think there may be a match, we get the caseworkers involved and have a meeting with the family, following the meeting we would introduce the parents to the child and have them do a day outing (park, ice cream, etc). If they both agree to more visits, we facilitate those with the hope of moving the child into the home and working towards adoption. Throughout all of these steps we are constantly evaluating the value of this match and if it is a good fit.

What are some of the biggest misconceptions about fostering and adopting?

I feel like I am always seeing negative portrayals of foster parents on TV and in movies. They are often written as being very neglectful and doing it just for the money. Nothing could be further from the truth, in my opinion. Every family that I have worked with since working in foster care has been caring, loving, and truly in it for the satisfaction of being able to provide a supportive world for children. Another misconception is probably that if you foster a child, you’ll be able to adopt right away. Unfortunately, I have never seen this happen. It is usually a longer journey.

Nicole and her beautiful daughters Destin and Saniyah

How was the adoption process been affected by the proliferation of social media? What restrictions are put in place?

Social media is such a tricky thing in the foster world. It is great for promoting foster care adoptions and getting people interested and involved. It is also a potential problem for families. Our families are proud of their kids and want to share their triumphs, and even their struggles with others. A child who is in foster care and not yet adopted is prohibited from having their face/identities revealed online in any way. This doesn’t mean parents cannot brag about their foster kid’s accomplishments online, they just have to be creative. This usually involves pictures that obscure any identifying features, using a pseudonym, etc.

This controversial phrase has been in the media a lot lately. Is ‘rehoming’ something that happens often?

Rehoming is a difficult topic to discuss in the adoption community. We work very hard to make sure that our families know what to expect (good and bad) from adopting and that they are fully prepared to handle any potential challenges. When a child becomes officially adopted, it is like they were born to you, with the same rights as any biological child. If there are problems down the line with behaviors, we do everything possible to put support in place for the family and the child to prevent removal from the home. The Department of Children and Family Services provides a wonderful Post-Adoption Services network that helps link parents to the right resources, as well as many other things. However sometimes we do need to find another placement for the child because that home is no longer safe or healthy for them.

For families that are interested in learning more, how can they reach you?

We count on the generosity of our supporters both new and old for both monetary and in kind donations. For more information, please contact the Development Team at development@aviva.org.

If families are interested in learning more about fostering, adopting, volunteering, donating, or any of our other services, they should call (323) 876-0550 and we will get them in touch with the right people.

website: aviva.org

instagram: @avivasocal