In preparation for a recent initial meeting with a virtual client, I requested some imagery that spoke to her personal style, whether actual or desired. (For me, images translate fashion tastes in ways words often cannot. One woman’s ‘everyday’ is another’s ‘special occasion’.) I had the immediate sense this client derives a lot of personal joy and expression from getting dressed AND is committed to making fashion and accessories as much a part of her daily self-care regime as physical exercise. (I also love that my clients share different tastes, body types, professions, gender identities and more. Variety is the spice of life!) I was thrilled to see her literal and figuratively colorful perspective, her enthusiastic embrace of fashion as part of what makes her feel vital and energized. Huzzah!

And yet, when we talked, she confessed she had worried I would say her inspiration photos showcased outfits that were ‘too much’. Too loud, too colorful, too extra, too over-the-top, too busy, too frivolous. Add the fact that for the last year, life for her has mostly been an occasional coffee or groceries store trip, working via Zoom and going on long solo runs in nature. I have to say, my heart broke and filled with empathy for her, knowing she has clearly heard those kinds of negative comments about being ‘too much’ over the years.

I’ll tell you what I told her. As far as I am concerned, the only rule in ‘Fashion’ worth adhering to is ‘If you like it, wear it’.

What others have to say about how you choose to dress inevitably says more about them than it does you and frankly, is THEIR emotional baggage to unpack. Anecdotally, I find these comments are often an expression of feelings of being ‘less-than’ themselves, not valuing or prioritizing modes of dress, or not ‘measuring up’ to mainstream standards. AND THAT IS ALL UNDERSTANDABLE! Fashion is not for everyone (though I hate to know that often this is less about pure disinterest and more about feelings of exclusion and self-loathing.) However, these folks also need not judge you. Don’t let them rain on your fashion parade.

Yes, there are instances when how you dress can have a negative effect on one’s life. Might a potential employer be turned off by a less-than-staid interview outfit? Perhaps. That is something worth considering when doing your research on company culture, and the way you choose to prioritize that information is entirely up to you. However, is there also a way to construct an interview outfit that translates your experience as well as your personality? Absolutely.

In the end, you’re the one walking around in your shoes (or not, as the case may be these days). To quote Oscar Wilde, ‘Be Yourself; Everyone else is already taken’.

- Stephanie Gisondi-Little

@composed_co