If I were in the physical world of your closet instead of writing about it from home, I would be happy as a clam. While nothing beats meeting in person and touching fabrics, lining up the keepers and physically hauling away the unnecessary, the good news is, we do have virtual connectivity. I’ve been working virtually with clients since 2018 ( I’m grateful to Bell Labs in 1870 for dreaming it up! Who knew?).

Psychotherapist Esther Perel recently spoke about how in this strange time we are not grieving our ‘normal’ activities themselves, but more so what they mean to us all. First dates are a hope for future love, walking blithely in a crowded place is independence and autonomy, graduations are the marker of years of hard work and the wide-open potential of the future.

I’m grieving the loss of the physical connection to my work, but together we can rekindle the deeper meaning in how you approach every day, whether now or in the future new normal, whatever that may be. Somewhere between staying at home forever and walking around with total freedom, we can still create hope with clothing. A few tips you can do from home (and seem more necessary as we all move into this grief/PTSD-inducing type situation of sustained isolation):

Remove clothes from your closet (and drawers and shelves) that bum you out. Plain and simple. You can do it piece by piece, one section at a time, or in one fell swoop. Stash elsewhere for now.
Put the clothes you love and fit your life in this moment front and center. Life is stressful enough as it is. There’s no room for extra decision making.
If you’ve done these two things, getting dressed in pieces you like and therefore make you feel good is a no-brainer. You’ve teed up thoughtful dressing to reclaim some control. Just because the world is a disaster right now doesn’t mean you have to feel you look like one.
Don’t let the turkeys get you down. Translation: FORCE YOURSELF SOMETIMES. Don’t settle for wearing the same clothes all the time. Change into daytime pajamas if that’s all you can muster. At least every other day, get cleaned up, put on a little makeup, wear a small earring (or a big one if you’re heading to Club Quarantine and feeling yourself). If you need to make an occasional video appointment with someone you respect to ensure your accountability, do it.

If these steps prove doable OR too hard, try me. I miss touching clothes, but I miss being of service to people who want and need help even more. There are no stupid questions, and I am recharged by you and all the promise you bring, even in this moment.

-Stephanie AKA “Stylin’ Mama”

@composed_co