Today we are thrilled to introduce our newest contributor, Jasmine Montoya. Jasmine is a single mama of one and an Energy Healer. She believes that our children are here to teach us vs. us teaching them about life.

I want to talk about the self-care that will prevent you from burning out, the self-care that will help keep you off the verge of a mental breakdown. As a single parent, it is already hard enough raising a child on your own but let’s add a pandemic, remote learning, and so many triggering issues happening in our world to the mix that it can feel extremely overwhelming and exhausting. How can we as single parents keep afloat when we already feel like we are treading water?

These are 5 of my self-care practices that have helped me along my journey that I would like to share with you.

1. Prioritize Yourself

I know what you are thinking with this one. As a single parent there just is not enough time in the day for it all and in reality, there isn’t. We just simply cannot do it all, so stop trying to do it all!

Block a time each day either in the morning or in the evening just for you, even better if you can have time to yourself both in the morning and evenings when the kids are asleep. I am an early riser and I wake up at 5 am every day to start my morning before my son wakes up. I make some tea, do a meditation, and watch the sunrise. I check in with myself before I even look at my to-do list for the day! In the evenings around 9:00 pm is mama time again. I usually read or watch tv, or phone a friend but I do what feels good for me at that time. I re-connect with myself and just enjoy my time of being.

2. Build a Safe, Supportive, and Loving Community

You do not need a huge community, but you do need a community. Since there are no extra sets of hands to help during these times build a family of your own. Become friends with your kid’s best friends and support each other with playdates. You need the break and your kids need social engagement and playtime.

3. Take Deep Breaths

When you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, take a pause, and connect to your breath.

Do you know how a whale comes up for air? This majestic creature comes up to the ocean's surface and lets out this massive exhalation. It’s so beautiful to watch! Envision yourself like the whale, take deep expansive breaths, filling up your lungs and your belly, and exhaling with a ‘woosh’ from your lips. Release all your worries and stresses out into the universe.

Repeat as needed.

4. Go out in Nature
Mother Nature heals and is so good for the soul. Grab the kids, turn off your phone, and just enjoy the fresh air. Move your body and shift your energies with exercise. This is also a great way to tire your kids out!

5. Give yourself Grace

The most important of all is allowing yourself grace to not have it all together because no one does. It’s ok to be tired and frustrated. It’s ok to have dishes in the sink and clothes piling up on the floor. It’s ok to cry and feel sad about your circumstances.

Ultimately what our kids need is a happy and HEALTHY parent and that can only happen when we are honest with where we are, with what we need, and how we need it.

Implementing these five steps into your routine will help ease the day to day stresses and it sends a powerful message to your children that loving and giving to yourself is just as important if not more important than loving and giving to others.

Let’s have an awareness that our children will never do as we say but will do as we do.

Sending so much love and a reminder that you are not alone during these times. Help is only a reach away.

In what ways have you been challenged as a single parent during this pandemic? Would love to hear from you!

- Jasmine AKA “Mindful Mama”

@iamjasminemontoya